Darkside

'DarkSide is Dee-Nee's in-house expert on conspiracies. He continually comes up with ways in which the government is manipulating our minds. While living in Sweden he hasn't seen an american vagina in years and perhaps that where his american sentiment stems from. When asked about what he misses, "Laws. In america its illegal to have sex with kids and in some states its illegal to have anal sex. Here its all fair game. And its gotten to my conscience. After my 3rd 12 year old, I feel real bad. I've been attending meetings but it doesn't help. I like to have sex and pretty much will nail anything that moves. Being a professional baseball player over here doesn't help. The little girls look up to you, so I have to provide for them.....my recently grown 4 inch cock."

So there you have it. Nothing stopping him. Well Dorkside, good luck with all that.

In the meantime, he eats healthy, punches granny starholes, and shaves his chest.

• Stole two bases off of Cuba in international competition.

• Prefers redheads

• Addicted to Skoal tobacco even though one would think that Copenhagen brand would be more easily geographically accessible.

Also has the distinction of being the only dee nee member to have been drafted by a MLB team ahead of three RBI namesakes:

Rd   Pick  Player         Pos.  Team       Last played for
26   678   The DarkSide    OF   Astros     Santa Teresa HS (San Jose,CA) 
43   1130  Jimmy Rice      SS   Reds       McLean County HS (Owensboro,KY)
51   1312  Reggie Jackson  P    Tigers     Hillsborough Community College
56   1402  Jose Cruz       3b   Marineers  San Jacinto College